Wow, I thought this was something I'd be really good at keeping up! ;) So several months have gone by now and so much has happened I don't even know where to begin. BSSM is going so fast I'm finding myself starting to question "have I gotten/am I getting what I came for?". I often think I haven't done that much changing but then I am in circumstances where I go "WHOA!!! Ok, yep, I'm different". I am realising the depth of the work God is doing in my life and heart and the foundations that are continuing to be solidified. I've been so blessed to have amazing righteousness identity based preaching over the last 10years that I always knew I was coming here with a solid realisation of who I am in Him. Being here is just building on that in ways that are blowing my mind! A day doesn't go by where we don't get to hear or experience the incredible supernatural ways of God. Provision to start with: People have crazy financial breakthroughs all the time and it is awesome to see God's creativity in that alone. I am also one of those people. I can't wait to get to the end of this year and tell of how God has gotten me through this. Every month is a complete miracle and I am astounded at how God has sustained me over here with no savings, no job, and a bucket load of debt. I hate debt!!! I will never get in it again. It is such a curse. I'm also not one to NOT have a job....thanks to the wonderful work ethics instilled by my parents, I value and respect the idea of being self sufficient. God has however told me that "I will not lack" while I am here and I have felt from day 1 of being here not to work. If I feel to go get a job, I am sure that God will provide me with a great job (and a car to get there). So every month I have had enough money to pay my mortgage, pay minimum payments on 3 credit cards in NZ AND pay my rent and living expenses here. Wow, He is so faithful. It's to the point where I was like "ok God, I need $30 by tomorrow in my NZ bank account" to meet this bill.... so I wrote to someone who owed me $20 for a book I had ordered for them.... the next morning I woke up to check my account and found $30 in there with a note from them saying "it's not much but I threw in an extra $10". That just showed me how faithful God is every time. The other day we got our phone bill and I had made several calls to NZ on it (usually I would use my Dad's calling card).... these phone calls unbeknownst to me were $3.50 a minute.... what do they think, NZ is a 3rd world country or something??!!!..... so anyway, after nearly having a small heart attack at the $117 I now owed for ONE month of phone calls (keep in mind we hadn't gotten the bill for Dec yet in which I had made LOTS more). I went into my room and said "God, I don't have this money, and I have no way of getting it right now apart from a miracle.... please forgive me if I was ignorant or missed you telling me not to call". So I decided to call AT&T. Several people told me that they are terrible to deal with and not to expect a good result. I decided that I have favour on my life and that I would expect that favour to be with AT&T. I got a lovely lady named Sarah and to make a long story short, not only did she completely wipe ALL ($90 worth) November calls, but she changed all my Dec and future calls to 9c/min!!!! Come on Jesus! My Daddy loves me. That is one of the things I really wanted to KNOW coming here this year (His love for me) and that is just one of the many ways he has shown me. I had a deadline for my missions trip at the beginning of Jan that I needed $1500 for. I was sitting in bed one day and was like "God, who can I give to.... what can I do to bless someone else with their trip".... "what do I need to do to get this $1500? Is there something I can sell, do I get a job, what?".... So I signed on to FB and saw someone asking for people to sow into their trip and I felt to sow $15 (not much but when you have nothing, it's a fair bit).... I had left my wallet at someone's house the night before so I said "God, I determine in my hear that I'm going to give that $15 as soon as I get my purse back- please remind me". Later that day I was overwhelmed and blessed by someone paying the $1500 that I needed.... and it was before I had even had my wallet back!!!! Of course I sowed the $15 as soon as I did! God is so good that before I could even plant the seed, I had reaped the harvest. Now I only have $860 to go (due in a month).
This year is going to be the best year of my life.... I just feel it in every part of my being. God is sooooo incredibly good and I just want to know HIM more and more. Sure, I want the miracles and the supernatural in my life, but I want Him more. It's out of that amazing place of intimacy that all the other stuff comes. It's 100% His heart to take care of His kids- whether it be through amazing ideas, jobs, inheritances, generosity of others.... anything.... He'll use it. I just love learning to hear Him every minute of every day.... it's the ultimate love.... He is filling places in my heart that I didn't know existed and out of that I desire to know Him even more. I love being able to share the wisdom of where He's brought me with others. I realise how much wealth I have in me. God's allowed me to sow into other people's lives quite a bit here and given me amazing friendships. My roommates are amazing and I feel like Lacey and I have known each other for our whole lives.... I said to her the other day.... if the only thing I got out of this year was meeting you, it would have been worth it. Friendships like that are one in a million and I feel as though God has seriously blessed my life with several people like over the last 25 years. ;) I got to spend Christmas with one of those people!!! Tiff (my bestie since I was 8) flew me home for Christmas (home = Erie, PA/Western NY). I had my first white Christmas in 13 years and boy was it cold!!!!! Gotta say though, it felt the most like Christmas in years---- but I am a fan of summer more.... if that makes sense. There is just something about Jingle Bells that doesn't go well with Santa in shorts!! It was so cold at times, i literally wanted to cry! It all was worth it though and I had some amazing encounters with some of the most amazing people who I"ve been privileged to have in my life for years. Even though I hated leaving there, I was also so excited to get back here and see the New Year in. I also couldn't wait to get back to school (which I didn't ever think I would say). The year has started off with a real sense of expectation of the amazing things about to come into my life. Last year I really felt God stripping some of the areas in my life that have limited me from experiencing the best.... and even though some of them were really painful and hard to let go of, it is amazing to see (now that I've let go) how much I was being ripped off from what He wants to give me. Good is enemy of the Best I always say.... I want to be able to give my best to everyone that is MEANT to be in my life and in turn receive the Best that God has for me in every area.
At the moment I'm seriously seeking what I need to do next year. Although I love my family and friends in NZ, I really want to stay here over the summer and do 2nd year. That will ultimately depend on the "go ahead" from Above- as you can't live like this without hearing that you're in the right place. I guess we'll see.
Kenya- Wow, I don't even know where to begin with the thoughts going through my mind about this missions trip. I am 100% positive that this will change my life forever.... and not in one of those "wow, that changed my life--- then next week back to the same old mindset".... but SERIOUSLY never be the same again. As I said in my 2nd post, this has been my lifelong dream. We've had a few team meetings (one of them in the Dr's office getting numerous immunizations) and this last one just rocked me! I am seriously asking God for a plan on how to guard my heart because I know I am going to be so overwhelmed by what I experience--- and I'm going to want to bring all 500 kids from the orphanage home with me (I'm always ending up with excess baggage it seems). I'm really believing that God is going to abundantly supply for this trip because I want to be able to take things over for them and to make the most of these 11 days. OOOOO and I am SO excited cause we are going on a safari while we are there!!! Wahoo!! I think my little 4mp camera I got 9 years ago, may need an upgrade! Watch out Lion King, here I come! So yeah, I can't even put into words what I'm feeling about Kenya.... if you are reading this though, I'd love if you would pray for divine encounters, supernatural provision, protection, and grace for this trip for all of us. From what the leaders have said, the kids will challenge us more than we challenge them. Apparently they have had so much awesome identity put into them since arriving at the orphanage, that they know they are going to change their world. That is a work that I want to be a part of.... who knows where this trip is going to take me for the future??!!
Hmmm, what else.... The healing rooms have been the highlight of my experiences here so far. Being the diverse backgrounds and beliefs that everyone coming to first year has, they don't allow you to pray for people until you are released as a prayer servant.... at first I thought it was a bit strange but then when you realise what they have cultivated here and the honour they show everyone, it just makes sense. I'd prayed for several people before Christmas and we saw some amazing things (including a lady's eye sight restored and a broken wrist healed instantly)... but we were released as prayer servants over Christmas break and so this past Sat I got to actually actively participate in the healing rooms. I was in my absolute element!!!! I am looking forward to hearing back from some of the people we prayed for as I am certain God healed them but it was for things that have to be checked by the Dr before confirmation. Metal disapperaing out of peoples bodies had been happening and major healings over skype!!! There were several testimonies of cancer being healed over skype and one lady even flew out to Redding to give her testimony about it. God is soooo good! It is so awesome to see people who have been in pain or discomfort for years/sometimes their whole life, and it just goes instantly! On here I have only really commented on things I've seen directly, but every week people's deaf ears and blind eyes open, backs healed, diabetes, arthritis, cancer, MS, headaches, food allergies.... GONE! Heaven invades Earth!
I'm super excited about Mel coming to visit for 2 whole weeks in Feb!!!! It is going to be soooo great to get to spend some time with her, have her experience some of what I'm doing.... and also to get some things from NZ that I've wanted over here (including my bag of beads/necklace making stuff- so I can make jewellery for the kids in Africa). I do have a feeling she will want to move over tho ;)..... hehehe.... watch out Nathan, I'm already scouting out jobs for you here! Oh, I almost forgot! Jesus Culture had their 2011 Encounter here in Redding last weekend and God was soooo good to me!!! I wanted to go to it so badly but the tickets were $60 and I couldn't afford to go.... long story short is I got to go, and I got to help out with the product table and so I got my retail fix!! (selling it, not buying it- just to clarify). I love love loved it and it reminded me of the heart I have for seeing young people being propelled into their destiny (not into church/religion) with the reality of who their Daddy is and how much He has for them. I am seriously considering trying to get involved somehow with something along those lines.... but like everything at the moment... .I just have to hear!
Well I have more homework than you can imagine to finish and I don't want to look back on this year and feel at all like I missed out on anything (and so far I feel like the homework side of things hasn't been my strong point). I love hearing from everyone so if your not on Facebook, email or skype me. I hope that everyone feels the same excitement and expectation for 2011 as I do. God is amazing and He is doing awesome things EVERYWHERE!!! Much love. xoxoxo♥
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
Africa- A dream come true!
When I was probably 4 or 5 I remember watching a World Vision ad on TV with my Mum. I remember being so impacted by the need in Africa with all the starving children that I wanted to give all my money to help them (which was maybe a $1 or 2). From that day until now, if anyone had asked me what I would do if money wasn't an issue or if I could fulfil any dream that I had, I would say go to Africa. I have specifically wanted to work in an orphanage there and be able to just love on the kids there and to give them hope. It seems that next March, this dream will come true. At BSSM all the students go on at least one missions trip a year. We were given 51 to choose from at the beginning of the school year and we got to choose our top 5 choices. My #1 choice was Kenya. I have NO idea how many people applied for it but between 1st and 2nd year students alone, there are at least 1200 possibilities with only 12 spots available. The people leading the Kenya trip decided to interview us all to see why we chose Kenya. That interview was one of the easiest I've ever been to as it is something I am so passionate about, and every answer came straight from my heart. I can not even express how happy and privileged I feel to have been accepted. Below is the description of what the trip entails:
Kenya
God has begun a great work in Kenya! This trip is focused on strengthening the leaders who are facilitating the movement today, and pouring into the children who will be the leaders of the next generation. We will be ministering at the largest orphanage in Kenya and teaching at a school of ministry. We will also be working in the slums, bringing the love and power of God to Kenya’s most needy.
As you can see from the description, it is exactly what I have always wanted to do. Now to the fun bits. :) I feel so blessed to be able to be here this year and to have my life's dream come true at the same time is just an awesome display of God's love for me in giving me the desires of my heart. The things I'm discovering and learning over here are invaluable. I know I already had a foundation of who God's made me to be, but as well as being able to see and be a part of amazing miracles in other peoples lives, I'm also having my heart and life exponentially expanded. One thing I know I've always found challenging is asking for help. I've always wanted to do it all myself and not be a burden to anyone else. Gift giving is my love language.... but yet receiving is one of the things I find hardest. This trip is $2900USD and instead of beating around the bush I figured I'd be completely upfront-- because one of the things I hate most is feeling like I'm being manipulated when it comes to money. :) I would love for you to consider sowing into my trip/expenses. I need 10% by next week and then have to have it fully paid by early February. (The trip is March 10-21st) Any amount you can give is appreciated. If you can't support me financially, I would love you just to pray for the trip- that we would be safe and have awesome God encounters with the people who's lives we are able to touch. Below is a little tax info etc:
Financial gifts may be made online at ibssm.org. This gift is tax-deductible and you will receive a statement at the end of the year for your tax records. If you wish your gift to be anonymous, please check the anonymous box. This will allow you to receive an end of year statement, but will not allow the student to see your name. This gift is non-refundable, and if for any reason a team member or team does not go, the money will support another mission trip sponsored by Bethel Church.
(If online payment is not an option, donations can be mailed to Bethel Church Attn: Bethel International 933 College View Dr. Redding, CA 96003.)
https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=missions&student_id=211791 This is the exact link if you would like to give with credit card online (please note this is in US Dollars).
If you'd like to give into my NZ account it is: National Bank- 06-0807-0172073-03 and I can transfer it over to the US.
Even though I'm miles away from most of you, I love to hear from you all and see what's going on in your lives too. Please email me at kkw1812@hotmail.com or message me on Facebook. I'll keep updating my blog as well with the exciting journey I'm on. http://onlyloveremains.blogspot.com/ Thank you so much for all the prayer and support I've already received from you all. Please feel free to let me know if there is anything you need/want prayer for... there is no thing too small that He doesn't see or want to help with.... I know that sounds cliché sometimes but it is the Truth and it's one thing I'm figuring out more and more by being over here. Thanks again. ♥
Much love,
Kristina
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
One thing remains.... Love
Well here I am.... in Redding, California in the good ole U S of A doing the 1st year of Bethel's School of Supernatural Ministry. Had you told me a year ago this is where I'd be I wouldn't have believed you. What an incredible journey its been?! Where to start- I guess if your reading this you know most of the story so I don't really need to go into any of that. To sum it up, I was tired of living a half and half life. One that occasionally had some power of God showing up in it but more than anything having a huge desire for it to be my permanent way of life. For as long as I can remember now, I've just wanted to have a life that counts, one that actually produces good things for those around me. Being in a rut of common existence no longer satisfied so I asked God to shake it up.... and that He did! Coming here was possibly the hardest decision that I have made and most of you know, it was alot of tears, lack of food, sleepless nights, indecisiveness, and complete confusion that preceeded my choice to pack up my life into 2 suitcases and 1 carry on and move to the other side of the world- knowing NO ONE! I look back now and think, why on Earth did I make it so hard? The answer was there all along, it was my choice and either way, God would look after me. And that He has.
Without going into the gory details- it took a miracle for me to get here and it will take many more to keep me here, but God gave me 4 words that I knew I was to hold onto this year- He said to me "you will not lack". So thus the journey began. I was so blessed to have my airfare given to me (my they in turn have every airfare they ever need provided). I would have loved to have had the year 'secured' for me financially but then I guess I wouldn't need to rely on Him. I told God that I wasn't interested in coming over here to be a charity case or to live like a pathetically poor student who people felt sorry for because I lived by the skin of my teeth. So then my tuition was paid.... thank God (and the person who it came through). When I told God I didn't want to rough it, not only did He listen but He blew me away with the amazing house he put me in. It is beautiful and so are my 2 flatmates. (and the 2 cats) We live slightly out of town and are right by a golf course. On my (very few) runs, I have seen snakes and a warning for a mountain lion that has been roaming around- not things I used to have to worry about running in Christchurch. None the less, I love everything about it. I don't have a car yet -but well I've given and loaned cars before so I think it's just a matter of time. ;) I'm so blessed that I have amazing roomies who cart me to and fro- even if it means to Taco Bell. Food is one thing I keep having to remind myself I don't have to eat all in a short amount of time (like most of my trips to USA).... usually I try to fit in all the amazingly yummy (not necessarily healthy) food into 2-3 wks, and now I have a good year to have it all in moderation.
So I arrived 2 wks late but for the most part I have caught up with all the homework. There is SOOOO much reading to do and to stay on top of it requires 2-3 hrs a night of reading. It's actually near impossible to have a job and do this. This in itself took a bit of getting used to and discipline. 5 weeks here today and I am feeling like everything has finally settled and I am now going..."right, what am I doing, why am I here, what do I want, and WHY haven't I done it yet?". I feel so blessed in that I have gotten EVERYTHING I wanted when it comes to choices at school. I am in Kevin Dedmons Healing AMT (advanced ministry training) this semester which is called Healing and Kingdom Foundations.... our homework last time was to laugh in the mirror for at least 10 min a day!!! How awesome is that! I also got into the Healing Rooms for the year as my Activation/Outreach which all on its own makes every sacrifice I made to get here worth it! Every Sunday, without fail, we see people healed. From cancer, to deaf ears, to blind eyes, dyslexia, arthritis, back problems, creative miracles (something being replaced that was missing), family restoration... you name it, they've had it happen. Not only do miracles consistently happen at the Healing Rooms but every day out on the streets/shops in Redding. Treasure Hunts are an every day occurance (I have yet to do one for some strange reason) with awesome encounters, miracles, and most importantly just loving on people and introducing them to a good God who does good things, cause He's in a good mood. Last Friday at school a girl gave a testimony that she had gone on her FIRST treasure hunt, prayed for a lady who was paralysed from being hit by a car and GOT OUT OF HER WHEELCHAIR AND WALKED!!!! Come on!!! If that doesn't make you want to run out there and step over that 'chicken line' -aka fear of what people might think- then what will. You can see/hear the testimony here: http://ibetheltv.tumblr.com/post/1449244130/oh-this-is-goooood-thank-you-jesus-want. Every day in class, students get up and give amazing testimonies of provision or miracles that they've seen God do in their lives.... EVERY DAY there is a line of people with 'out there' testimonies! I have to stop and remind myself this is all real sometimes. I was walking out of Target with Lacey (one of my amazing room mates) the other night and some of the guys we were with were just talking like they normally do about some amazing experience they had had with God that day and THAT is what it's like, ALL the time. I'm surrounded by 800 first year students all hungry for a deep relationship with a God who loves people and wants to pour out that love through us. Here in Redding, everyone knows about Bethel and for the first time in my life, they LOVE the church! I'm talking the public, the drug addicts, the homeless, the hurt, the sick.... they are so used to being loved on by anyone that goes to Bethel that they are pretty much willing for you to pray anywhere! That's a bit of culture difference for me as in NZ it's obviously NOT acceptable to ask the person in the grocery store line if you can pray for their sprained ankle or whatever it is you can see is wrong with them. In fact, here, many times they'll be like "oh, someone just prayed for me a few minutes ago and it feels better but you can pray again"! There is such favor on us with most businesses here too. Another thing that is amazing here is the culture of Honour they have cultivated. You are valued and honoured for everything.... be it male or female, for your giftings, for your risk taking (even if you don't have some wild result), just for who you are! Also the prophetic is really strong here- something that has definitely helped stir up my gift. I just touch someone and I seem to see all these amazing things about them. Everyone just seems to want to love on you and see you come into what you've been created to do. Not a bad way to live I say. ;) All in all, this is going to be hands down, the best year of my life. Don't get me wrong, I miss SOOOO much about home. I miss my family and friends SO much it literally hurts sometimes but I keep looking ahead to what I know I'm here to experience (and am experiencing already).... a life that counts and exudes the love of God and His goodness. I know this has been a long time coming and is a bit long but I will try to update regularly from now on. I pray that every person that reads this blog experiences the tangible love of a God who will go to any length to show you His heart. ♥
Without going into the gory details- it took a miracle for me to get here and it will take many more to keep me here, but God gave me 4 words that I knew I was to hold onto this year- He said to me "you will not lack". So thus the journey began. I was so blessed to have my airfare given to me (my they in turn have every airfare they ever need provided). I would have loved to have had the year 'secured' for me financially but then I guess I wouldn't need to rely on Him. I told God that I wasn't interested in coming over here to be a charity case or to live like a pathetically poor student who people felt sorry for because I lived by the skin of my teeth. So then my tuition was paid.... thank God (and the person who it came through). When I told God I didn't want to rough it, not only did He listen but He blew me away with the amazing house he put me in. It is beautiful and so are my 2 flatmates. (and the 2 cats) We live slightly out of town and are right by a golf course. On my (very few) runs, I have seen snakes and a warning for a mountain lion that has been roaming around- not things I used to have to worry about running in Christchurch. None the less, I love everything about it. I don't have a car yet -but well I've given and loaned cars before so I think it's just a matter of time. ;) I'm so blessed that I have amazing roomies who cart me to and fro- even if it means to Taco Bell. Food is one thing I keep having to remind myself I don't have to eat all in a short amount of time (like most of my trips to USA).... usually I try to fit in all the amazingly yummy (not necessarily healthy) food into 2-3 wks, and now I have a good year to have it all in moderation.
So I arrived 2 wks late but for the most part I have caught up with all the homework. There is SOOOO much reading to do and to stay on top of it requires 2-3 hrs a night of reading. It's actually near impossible to have a job and do this. This in itself took a bit of getting used to and discipline. 5 weeks here today and I am feeling like everything has finally settled and I am now going..."right, what am I doing, why am I here, what do I want, and WHY haven't I done it yet?". I feel so blessed in that I have gotten EVERYTHING I wanted when it comes to choices at school. I am in Kevin Dedmons Healing AMT (advanced ministry training) this semester which is called Healing and Kingdom Foundations.... our homework last time was to laugh in the mirror for at least 10 min a day!!! How awesome is that! I also got into the Healing Rooms for the year as my Activation/Outreach which all on its own makes every sacrifice I made to get here worth it! Every Sunday, without fail, we see people healed. From cancer, to deaf ears, to blind eyes, dyslexia, arthritis, back problems, creative miracles (something being replaced that was missing), family restoration... you name it, they've had it happen. Not only do miracles consistently happen at the Healing Rooms but every day out on the streets/shops in Redding. Treasure Hunts are an every day occurance (I have yet to do one for some strange reason) with awesome encounters, miracles, and most importantly just loving on people and introducing them to a good God who does good things, cause He's in a good mood. Last Friday at school a girl gave a testimony that she had gone on her FIRST treasure hunt, prayed for a lady who was paralysed from being hit by a car and GOT OUT OF HER WHEELCHAIR AND WALKED!!!! Come on!!! If that doesn't make you want to run out there and step over that 'chicken line' -aka fear of what people might think- then what will. You can see/hear the testimony here: http://ibetheltv.tumblr.com/post/1449244130/oh-this-is-goooood-thank-you-jesus-want. Every day in class, students get up and give amazing testimonies of provision or miracles that they've seen God do in their lives.... EVERY DAY there is a line of people with 'out there' testimonies! I have to stop and remind myself this is all real sometimes. I was walking out of Target with Lacey (one of my amazing room mates) the other night and some of the guys we were with were just talking like they normally do about some amazing experience they had had with God that day and THAT is what it's like, ALL the time. I'm surrounded by 800 first year students all hungry for a deep relationship with a God who loves people and wants to pour out that love through us. Here in Redding, everyone knows about Bethel and for the first time in my life, they LOVE the church! I'm talking the public, the drug addicts, the homeless, the hurt, the sick.... they are so used to being loved on by anyone that goes to Bethel that they are pretty much willing for you to pray anywhere! That's a bit of culture difference for me as in NZ it's obviously NOT acceptable to ask the person in the grocery store line if you can pray for their sprained ankle or whatever it is you can see is wrong with them. In fact, here, many times they'll be like "oh, someone just prayed for me a few minutes ago and it feels better but you can pray again"! There is such favor on us with most businesses here too. Another thing that is amazing here is the culture of Honour they have cultivated. You are valued and honoured for everything.... be it male or female, for your giftings, for your risk taking (even if you don't have some wild result), just for who you are! Also the prophetic is really strong here- something that has definitely helped stir up my gift. I just touch someone and I seem to see all these amazing things about them. Everyone just seems to want to love on you and see you come into what you've been created to do. Not a bad way to live I say. ;) All in all, this is going to be hands down, the best year of my life. Don't get me wrong, I miss SOOOO much about home. I miss my family and friends SO much it literally hurts sometimes but I keep looking ahead to what I know I'm here to experience (and am experiencing already).... a life that counts and exudes the love of God and His goodness. I know this has been a long time coming and is a bit long but I will try to update regularly from now on. I pray that every person that reads this blog experiences the tangible love of a God who will go to any length to show you His heart. ♥
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)